No Sleep for the Weary

I could not get to sleep last night. The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:45am. I didn’t take anything to sleep because I only have one ativan left. I am taking it tonight. Probably at 8pm.

I have a lip full of fever blisters now. Insurance issues are preventing me from getting some of my meds. I ordered some in the mail, so I’m waiting to get them. I’m going to ask a doc friend (which I hate doing) to see if he could give me some samples for a week of a few meds. I hate to ask. I hate whinese. I hate pain. It so sucks it because I’m in such a great mood. I want to be well. I want to feel well.

My trainer kicked my butt yesterday and now I can barely walk up the steps or squat enough to sit in a chair. I don’t think he has any idea what my body has been through. I can’t afford a workout that is going to make me MORE sore than I already am. As it is, I need to take daily painkillers. I try to skip a day or two here and there because I don’t like them. But then I end up walking like a 90 year old woman.

So the good news….

My niece and nephew are coming for Spring Break. I think some of my siblings might come up this week as well. It’s Zoe’s birthday week. I love her birthday and love to make a big deal about it since she’s my only kiddo. I haven’t bought her anything because she really doesn’t need anything, but I probably will just take her to Target and let her pick something out.

Sis #1 is so awesome and she bought us the tickets to go see Cirque du Soleil. I know Zoe and my sister’s kids will love the show. I’m going to take Mom too. I think it’s going to be soooo cool.

Ok. I’m sure there’s more good news, but I think I might need a little nap before I pick up the Zoester.

I can do this. I feel craptastic, but I’m still here.

Your assignment today is to help a friend if you can. Long time reader and a good soul is having some bad bad bad health problems. Pam has been through hell and back, but she always is so sweet. She asked if I could spread the word.

Need big prayers and financial help big time for things like utilities, gas, copays etc if you don’t mind posting for prayers and such.
Benefit info:
Pam Carman Fund
Attn:Sandra Jackson
2968 Soapstone Mountain Road
Staley, NC 27355
or paypal of


Sometimes it’s hard to be a blogger. People in your life are busy, so they just stop in and read your blog to check in on you. But they stop talking to you sometimes. And since they read your blog, they feel connected to you and cool about it because they know you are still going. It feels lonely sometimes. I’ve gotten really close with some people and then they just get too busy to chat or call. But as long as they see a post, they know you are still alive.

I really miss my Houston friends. I have zero social life here. Maybe this summer I can crash somewhere in Houston so I can have some fun and just see people. I want to spend some time in Austin too, but not sure where to stay for a long period of time.