Always Missing Someone

I remember once when Zoe was in first grade she told me that she wished all the people she loved were in the same city. I know just how she feels. Most people do. Even though my immediate family is all in Texas, most of them are in other cities, and I have cousins and aunts and uncles that I miss from one end of the States to the other. My sweetheart is across the country in Seattle. My readers, my lovely e-friends, are all over the world.

I was goofing around on my myspace page (no, Helga’s not me in a Halloween costume) and re-watched this video:

It just never gets any easier. I loved that woman. A woman I never met in person, but a woman to whom I could relate entirely. We shared secrets. We shared laughs. And many many nights we shared our fears. Never. Gets. Easier.

We are kind of lagging on our fundraising. Just have been a little busy. I think I will try to spend a few hours every week trying to find new resources for fundraising. Most everyone I know is either raising money themselves, or are in too much of a pinch right now ($4 gasoline doesn’t help). But I’m sure there is someone who might be interested. Working on expanding resources via Twitter (way too fun, way too addictive) and possibly getting corporate sponsors to add links or advertising on our Team Zoe site. I’m sure we can do some fundraisers after the summer. Zoe wants to keep having them at fun places.

Missing you. And you. But mostly you, Goobertox.

I can do this. It’s nearly summer.

Your assignment tonight is to plan to eat some salad tomorrow. When it’s 95 out with a 105 heat index and 36% humidity, there is nothing better than a summer salad. What is your favorite salad combo?


Will write soon. Got a haircut today and she straightened it. I sort of look like me again. Still too short for my taste, but I dig it. And… the whole, yay for having hair again thing.


95 here today. 101 heat index with 36% humidity. Um. GROSS!!! Two weeks to Seattle. They better not suddenly get some huge heat wave when I get there ~ at least we have air conditioning. Heat in Seattle would be tragic.

I can do this. I feel like passing out, but I can make it.

Your assignment today is to tell me your summer plans.

3 Weeks

Three weeks from today I will be on a plane to Seattle. I am so thrilled and wish I could just pack everything up and go and not come back (except to visit my fabulous family). Today it is in the 90’s and I hate even walking outside. I feel like my skin is burning off. I miss my debu_sweetie, but I know we will have so much fun. He’s totally dorktastic like me and I like that I don’t have to explain stuff to him.

Also, he’s been doing the Body for Life Challenge (which I’ve done and LOVED); when we were there last time, we were constantly on the move. His house is near a bike trail that runs along a river. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a bike, but I used to ride all the time in Austin. And when I was doing the BFL Challenge, I’d ride about 16 miles a day. I swear they all drink so much coffee because no one wants to sleep. They are too busy enjoying the active stuff. I’m looking forward to some non-stress too. I feel kind of overwhelmed lately with end of school activities.

Zoe’s class had a class first communion. During mass, the kids sang a song and did some hand gestures with the song. I wish I had a video, it was so sweet. I totally teared up. My girl is getting so big and I know that she will be gone again for the summer. I miss her like mad during the summer because she hates to talk on the phone, but I know that she is having a great time. Lots of swimming, kiddos and activities. She loves to spend summers there, but usually by the end of the visit, we are near tears from missing each other (sometimes there are lots of tears).

I love that my dad is the deacon for the mass. All the kids now shout in unison with him (he’s known for it) at the end of mass, “GO IN PEACE TO LOVE AND SERVE THE LORD.”

Ok. Near time to pick up my Z. I love you internets.

I can do this. I’m practically indestructible. (and according to the school nurse, so is Zoe. Got another call today. She always is bleeding somewhere or getting yet another killer bruise. Zoe on the goey.)

Your assignment today is to call a loved one. No distraction kind of phone call while typing on computer, watching tv, reading, getting interrupted by kiddos. Schedule it in if you have to. But it’s so important that your loved ones know that you love them. I hope that mine know.

Welcome to … well me box (TMI Warning)

When you have radiation and chemo, one of the big risks (after death of course) is secondary cancer.

I just got a call from my MD Anderson OBGYN about my January pap smear. According to the nurse, I have atypical cells apparently.

Um. Ok. I knew that. My doc told me that last time I was there … back in JANUARY.

So my doc is going on maternity leave. And I guess she’s going over patient files. So the nurse calls me and tells me they want to do a Colposcopy.

Apparently they want to do it now, but I’m tired as a mofo and don’t want to drive, nor do I have the time, back to Houston (SINCE I WAS JUST F*CKING THERE TEN DAYS AGO). It took me 2 extra hours to drive home because I had to stop and walk around a little since I was tired and sore. We won’t even discuss the traffic.

So, since I will be in Houston already, I told her to do it then. Lovely.

I’m hoping for no biopsies. I think a sore box would surely ruin my trip to NYC. Not like I was planning a big party, but my sis and I and the awesome Diane were going to museum, foodie and maybe shop.

Whatever. I am so over this already. It’s just aggrevating and I am not going to worry about results or anything until/unless I have to.

I can do this. I have a summer planned in Seattle.

Ok. That is all. Your assignment is to enjoy your weekend. Zoe has soccer, I’m going to get to see my Bro #2 and his wife (I wish more family could come) and then we have first communion. It’s kind of a big weekend for the Debu_household, but I’m going to enjoy myself.

Sending out some B-love

(blog love)

Susan is in the middle of treatment for breast cancer and having some bummer medical stuff going on. She’s been pretty frustrated lately, but is a freaking amazing person. She’s on my Twitter and is still such a bright spirit.

Just a quick assignment: Please go over and say hi and give S some encouraging words. I remember how much your comments meant to me when I was stressed or sad. (heck, your comments still mean so much to me and make me smile!)

Also, my sweet buddy Jeanne had one of her dogs die from pneumonia after eating a ROCK of all things. We met her when we were in Seattle and she had 2 gorgeous dogs. It just made me and Zoe so so sad when we heard the news. I don’t care who you are, but losing a pet is just the same as losing a member of your family. Especially when you’ve had that pet for so long.

So, please also go give Jeanne some internets love. She’s the coolest!

Feeling better today after some serious sleep.

Love you internets! And hello to any of my Twitter friends that stop by.


Hard time sleeping. Kind of achy like I’m fighting a cold. Blah. But here’s something cute to cheer me up.

Z with curly hair. Forget Hannah Montana, Zoe’s cuter and funnier*. The girl posed like a cover girl. Now to work on her singing voice.



And Welcome to My World




* you know you’re tired when you question yourself … is funnier a word? And you go over it again and again in your head. More fun. Fun. Funnier. Funniest. Oh yeah, America’s Funniest Home Videos. Funnier. F-U-N-N-I-E-R. Yes, that’s it. Then you look it up for good measure because for some reason you are too tired to trust spellcheck.


Totally in love with Amanda’s niece Ruby Elizabeth. Isn’t this just the most precious picture of all time?? Sweetness personified. How could you not have baby fever looking at this photo? If only I were 20 years younger and much much healthier, I’d birth my own baseball team.

amandas rudy.jpg


And also now in love with Collective Soul

What a gorgeous song. CS is now on my must see concert list.

Must see (or see again) before I croak.

Never seen before

Lenny Kravitz (never seen, but he’s my all time fav)
Jack Johnson
Sufjan Stevens
Allison Sattinger
Allison Krauss – hopefully with Robert Plant
Willie Nelson – sadly have never ever seen him and he’s just awesome
Collective Soul
Elvis Costello
Elton John
Raul Malo (great singer – incredible voice)
Ben Harper
Aretha Franklin
Busta Rhymes
Rufus Wainwright
Peter Gabriel

Have already seen

Tina Turner (saw her years ago at Sea World in San Antonio. It was Africa hot and she was amazing. We were like f*ck Shamu, let’s go in the restaurant while we wait for her to start)
Lyle Lovett (saw him a few times in Austin – he just jams out with his Large Band)
Jimmie Vaughn – used to see him a lot in Austin
Rolling Stones (if they are still alive)
Neville Brothers
Paul McCartney
Bo Deans
Jimmie Dale Gilmore
Jesse Dayton
Santana (my ex-husband knows the guy who used to be the lead singer – we got great tickets to this)

ok. I’m sure there are tons more.

I can do this. But I’m sleepy.

Your assignment for today is to tell me who is on your must see list.

Snappy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mom friends and to the dad’s that act as moms.

Zoe’s present to me. Hope you can read phonics too.

1. Why did God make mothers?
“So they can have ther babbys”

2. How did God make mothers?

“He made mothers so they can care for they babbies”

3. What ingredients are mothers made of?

“They are made of Gods and Jesus life.”

4. Why did God give you YOUR mother and not some other mom?

“To love us. To care about us more than any other mom.”

5. What kind of little girl was your mom?

“She was a brave littel girl.”

6. Who’s the boss at your house?
“My Grandma is the boss at my hous and my Mom.”

7. What’s the difference between moms and dads? 
“Moms don’t have wenner and Dad work”

For those of you who don’t get it – she said WEINER. OMG!! And golly. I worked for over 20 years.

8. What does your mom do in her spare time? (love this)

“She writes on the cuputer all day log and get Starbucks and gets Ice veteta lata (iced venti latte)

Notice how she spelled Starbucks exactly correct! That’s my kid for shizzle.

9. What would it take to make your mom perfect?
“She would have more munay to buy thighs (things) for me and grou hirer (grow hair)”


10. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
“I would cages (change) not for her to go to the docter and the hostpel (hospital)”

Ok. Off to shop for stuff for grilled chicken bowtie salad stuff. Love to you internets and thanks debu_sweetie for the sweetest email of all time this morning!!