This chemo has just opened such a can o’ whoopass on me. I finished up the inpatient stuff last week and lo and behold (just because I wanted some stuffing and pie) the extreme bodily fluid explosion decided to keep me up all night. I dry hurled for hours and now there is some speculation that perhaps I inflamed a rib. I’ve never broken a rib, but I can imagine that is how this feels.
I got way too dehyrdrated for my own good and Sis # kindly drove me to the ER, where they made me HIGH!!! So they just kind of gave it the good ol’ college try and then admitted me to the hospital. A day later I got some additional chemo and have had quite a few transfusions of platelets and red blood cells. I got some additional chemo again this evening. Yet, dangit, I still have had not pie. Not that I could actually enjoy it because el diablo rojo has given me crazy sores in my mouth. So basically mashed potatoes tasted like jalapenos.
I feel way too weak this time. My muscles are just bruised and battered. I swear I do look like I’ve been beaten up. I should call Zoe’s uncle (former pro boxer) and ask how to heal the stutf.
My numbers are spooky low to me. My platelets have been in the 200′s for yers. They are supposed to be at least 140, and today they were 11. ELEVEN! I wish I felt up to eating steaks because I just would just eat a filet at every meal.
I do get pretty much dailly transfusions or bags of blood. I would much rather eat steak.
Sis #1 and Sis #2 have been visiting mucho. It’s just nice to have someone come in your room and tidy up a bit when you are weak. Sis #1 made the magical muffins again and Sis #2 helped me out with a major power shower. It’s the closest thing to a massage I think I am allowed with such low platelets.
It felt sad to miss Thanksgiving with my parents. I don’t think I have missed even one before. Zoe had a great time with the cousins that she practically passed out last night. I haven’t spoken to her often, but I am the only one that can update her list on Amazon. I don’t think she really needs much as she has so much, but her dad is buying her a bike and a DS game to replace the one she lost. I would just have to ask what games she likes. Personally, I know she likes to shop at Target and Marshalls and Blockbuster, but the girl gets way more than she needs. She’s starting to ask more questions than we can really answer. It hurts to know I can’t see her little face. I used to always drag my photos of her with each hospital stay.
Me? I need nothing except prayers, which I totally have to make myself hear sometimes. I’m trying but it’s hard to feel so scared and vulnerable to God’s will.
I can do this. It’s trying to kick my ass, but I just can’t let it.
Your assignment today is to drink something just really tasty. Right now the greatest thing I have had so far was an icy cold Gatorade. I wonder how an Icee would do on sore mouth? More 7-11′s need to make Crystal Light Icees. Then perhaps a hot tub of soda wouldn’t give you the tub with it.
Love you. Thank you so much for the comments. I”m still too out of breath to talk much on the phone, but trust me, I hear the power of the internets loud and clear!